The Power of Mew!
by omnipotent otaku
Summary: A lovely fic about the lives of the TMM characters! Randomness galore! Warning: Masaya bashing. -ABANDONED-
1. Ichigo

Story: The Power of Mew!

Summary: Ok... this is so random, I should be arrested O.o A story that explores the crazy lives of the TMM cast... occasional Masaya-bashing thrown in, along with OOCness.

Disclaimer: I don't own TMM darn it! (shakes fist)

**

* * *

****CHAPTER 1 - ICHIGO**

I woke up unusually early this morning. I mean, REALLY early. Like, four in the morning. Usually when I wake up this early, I fall right back asleep but this time I didn't. I felt... a presence. I sat up and looked around the room. No one was there. I shrugged and rested my head on my pillow when someone leaped out my closet.

I screamed and picked up the baseball bat I kept next to my bed and I swung it as hard as I could. There was a loud _THWACK! _and a yell. I turned the lights on and saw Kish lying on the ground, holding his head.

"Holy crap! Are you alright!" I asked and ran to Kish's side.

"Whaaaa?" Kish asked, blinking quite stupidly.

"Um... you ok? You look... mentally damaged." I said.

Kish stared at me, then screamed, "MOMMY! I WUV YOU!"

Before I could react, Kish hugged me and demanded ice cream. I started spazzing and tried to pry Kish off. Then to make matters worse, my parents ran in.

"Ah, he looks MUCH nicer then that Masaya creep!" my dad said.

"GAH! RAPIST!" my mom shrieked. She grabbed a lamp and started hitting Kish. My dad gasped and tried to pull my mom out of the room. Kish kept asking for ice cream. I finally snapped and threw my parents and Kish out the window.

"JUST GET LOST YOU PSYCHOS! I NEED MY SLEEP!" I yelled. I closed the window and got back into bed and fell asleep.

About an hour later, I woke up again, only to find Masaya standing by my bed. I was too startled to react. Masaya whispered, "Not a word." and crawled under my bed. I thought everyone was going crazy.

Just then, a large group of girls wearing "I despise Masaya" t-shirts ran in, all of them holding either clubs or sporks. The two leaders, a blonde girl and a girl with light brown hair, conversed in low voices. Then they faced me.

"We are the Masaya Haters Club. We've come for Masaya. Where is he?" the blonde asked.

"Uh... not here?" I said unconvincingly.

The brown haired girl let out an exasperated sigh. "He's obviously under the bed." she said. "I should know. I am the author."

Then Masaya popped out from under the bed and jumped out the window.

"There he goes!" the author shouted. "Come on Krys! Everyone!"

They all leaped out the window and ran after Masaya, who was screaming for help. I locked my door and window and went back to sleep.

School was a drag. Everyone I passed by said they were so sorry that Masaya was attacked by his non-fans. I only nodded. The worst class was history. The teacher, an emotional wreck of a man, hugged me and cried all over me.

"Mr. Watanabe... get off me!" I said to the teacher.

"YOUR POOR LIL BOYFRIEND- ATTACKED!" Mr. Watanabe wailed

One kid laughed loudly. Mr. Watanabe stopped sobbing and faced the kid and glared. The kid cringed. Then Mr. Watanabe smiled.

"Mr. Sohma, would you like to hear a fun story?" the teacher asked.

"Yes...?" the kid replied nervously.

"Well," Mr. Watanabe said, "One day, a little boy was born... and his name was Sue."

"A boy named Sue?"

"Exactly child. Anyways, his parents loved him but as the boy grew older, he realized that he was gay and had no special talents. Seriously though, with a name like that, he HAS to be gay."

"Who is he?"

"Well... he's you."

"My name is SUE!"

"Basically, now SHUT UP OR DIE!"

The other kids laughed and pointed at "Sue" and I just sighed.

Work was horrible too. Ryou couldn't stop laughing, Keiichiro couldn't stop being freakishly nice to me, and the other mews couldn't stop ignoring me. I got so pissed at all of them that I reprogrammed Masha to eat anyone who laughed at me, was too nice to me, or ignored me.

So... they were eaten.

* * *

Ok... it gets randomer XD 

That was short. Nya.

And yes, me and SendoNoKrys were the Masaya hater club leaders XD

Next chapter - Mint


	2. Mint

Notes: ... this was so much fun to write XD

Disclaimer: I own Tokyo Mew Mew! ... (notices the lawyers) um... I DON'T own Tokyo Mew Mew! (sweatdrop)

**CHAPTER 2 - MINT ----**

I was woken up by my mother this morning. I found that odd, because she usually gets lost whenever she tries to find my room. Seriously, my mansion is that huge. Anyway, I sat up and said, "Hello Mother!" My mother glared and held up something.

I gasped. It was the cushion that got ripped in volume 2 of the manga. I was so scared of what Mother would do to me that I hid the destroyed cushion. When Mother asked where it went, I said she misplaced it.

"Mint darling," My mother said with deadly calmness, "Why did I find my favorite cushion ripped in half, featherless, and stuffed behind the stove?"

"Because it wanted to be there?" I said nervously.

"Mint Aizawa, you are so DEAD!" Mother screamed.

I did the only thing I could think of.

"OMG! BRAD PITT IS AT THE WINDOW!"

"WHAAAAAAAT!" Mother shouted, and she ran to the window.

I instantly ran out my room as fast as I could. My mother was after me in a second, screaming at me to halt. I went down as many hallways and went up and down as many staircases as I could until my mother's panting and shouts faded into nothing.

I stopped for a moment and smiled. I had gotten away from Mother. But then it dawned on me that I was lost. I sighed and turned a corner into another hallway, but this one was different. It reminded me of a hotel, maybe because there were numbers on the doors.

Actually, I was sure I had seen a hallway like this somewhere before... in a certain American movie based off a certain American novel by a certain American author. What was his name? Shane? Sean? Sam? Oh wait a second, of course! Stephen! Stephen King!

Suddenly, two little girls with matching dresses appeared at the end of the hall. They stared at me and I stared back.

"What are you doing in _my_ house?" I asked the girls.

"We live here, Danny. We've always lived here." The girls said in unison.

"Danny? Who's Danny? I'm Mint Aizawa!" I said. The girls looked puzzled.

"This... isn't Colorado?" The first girl asked.

"You're in JAPAN." I said, irritated.

"I knew we should have just gone east!" The second girl exclaimed, "But you just _had_ to travel west! This is the last time I'm going to Hawaii with you!"

"Hey, you were the one with the map!" The first girl argued. "You could of told me I was going in the wrong direction!"

"Oh, so now it's MY fault! You had the freakin compass!"

"I don't know how to use a compass!"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed. The girls stopped arguing. I said as calmly as I could, "How about you go back to America and argue there, alright? And get this damned hallway out of here!"

"Sorry." The girls mumbled, and they disappeared along with the hotel type hallway. The regular type hallway was back. I went to the nearest door and opened it, hoping there was a window I could climb out of, when I noticed that I was in my room.

I decided to go back to bed but before I could do so, there was a loud shriek outside. I went to the window and saw Ichigo's boyfriend being chased by a large group of angry girls. Masaya tripped and a girl with frizzy reddish-brown hair started stabbing him with a spork. I giggled and got back into bed.

* * *

I'm so sorry. The Shining commanded me XD 

The person who attacked Masaya was Quicksilver foxx

Next chapter: Kish


	3. Kish

Notes: I'm finally updating! I'm sorry for the wait... I had a bad case of incessant laziness XD And this chapter is dedicated entirely to Masaya bashing! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kish... or DO I? O.o

* * *

**CHAPTER 3- KISH**

I sighed deeply as I watched a group of Masaya haters overrun a cafe and demand cake. I had gotten a restraining order the other day saying that I couldn't go withing five miles of Masaya. The only reason that happened was that Masaya's parents got sick of paying his medical bills. It's not like it's my fault I go homicidal when I see that moron. He just has that effect on some people.

A couple of the Masaya haters took out a Masaya doll and ripped its head off, laughing maniacally. I recognized it as one of the Masaya stress dolls I forced Pai to make. I always donate things to the Masaya haters. Mostly money, since I have no need for it here, but Masaya dolls and "I hate Masaya!" buttons are available too... if I can get Pai to make the stuff.

The restraining order is making hard to be near Ichigo. I tried to get to her in school the other day, but Masaya was there stalking her and he spotted me. He pressed a button near one of the classroom doors and the police force came in and chased me away. I really hate conveniently placed buttons. I hope they DIE.

"Hey! Kish!"

I looked around wildly.

"I'm over _here_, you idiot!"

I looked to my left and saw Ichigo walking toward me. I squealed happily and glomped her. She looked quite mortified.

"Get off me!" She exclaimed, "Don't make me hurt you!"

"But Ichigo-chaaaaaan, that will make me sad." I said.

Ichigo rolled her eyes and pushed me away. "Anyway Kish," she said, "I really need your help. That restraining order is horrible! Masaya seems to think that since you can't get near me, he can just claim me. I'm really starting to get ticked off at him. To make things worse, we're on the school's Hottest Couples list, and I'm getting unwanted attention! Masaya fans are trying to kill me!"

Masaya has fans? I stared at Ichigo for a moment, then said, "I can't do anything, unless you want the police to kill me."

Ichigo grinned. "Well, it just so happens that the police are on the other side of town. They won't be anywhere near here for at least six hours."

"Ah, the power of money!" Mint muttered as she walked by.

I contemplated this for a moment. Ichigo bribed the police so they won't be here. If the police aren't here, I could destroy Masaya and get away with it! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

"Well? Will you help?" Ichigo asked.

"OF COURSE!" I shouted.

"Great! Wow, speak of the devil! Here he comes now! Go hide over there. Attack when I sneeze. That's the signal," Ichigo said, pushing me behind a conveniently placed tree.

Masaya came up the street, whistling something. I twitched slightly. I really wanted to hurt him. He went over to Ichigo, put an arm around. Before Ichigo could sneeze, I completely lost it... strange enough, I blacked out.

**--**

I came to in my room. Ichigo was sitting near my bed, looking cheerful. Pai was at the door scowling, and Tart was watching the TV I shoplifted last month.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Watch the news report." Ichigo said.

I stared at the TV.

**TV––**

"Hello, my name is Yolanda Mariareginachiquitabanana, a Japanese speaking foreign person who does the news! Yay! I'm here on Convenient Street, where Masaya Aoyama was brutally beat up earlier today. Police showed up six hours later after a witness called them. The police said the cause of their delay was that they were in a really good noodle shop and they wanted to finish their ramen before leaving. One witness said that a weird boy with green hair attacked Aoyama but a group of girls surrounded him and one of them, a girl with shoulder length dirty blonde hair, even threatened him with a spork. Then the girl proceeded to say that Masaya attacked himself, and that there was no green haired boy present at the time. An alarming number of girls agreed. Aoyama was rushed to the hospital, where his parents grounded him for getting hurt for the third time in this fanfic. When his parents left the room, a doctor accidently removed one of Masaya's kidneys, then a nurse accidentally injected him with poison. Masaya was conscious long enough to say, "CURSE YOU KI-" Then he passed out and hasn't woken up since. I would just like to add that maybe this is a good thing. Masaya's a loser anyway. Back to you Iwamoto!"

**– –**

Ichigo smiled and hugged me. "Now I won't have to bother with him anymore! OMG, I love you Kish! Date me!"

I smiled more then Ichigo. "OK!"

Then, Masaya burst through the door, covered in poorly wrapped bandages. He staggered to the side of my bed and screamed, "CURSE YOU KISH!" I shrugged, opened a window and threw Masaya out of it. He hit the pavement with a loud SPLAT! and then he was trampled by the Masaya haters.

I yelled down to the haters, "Make sure you burn his remains when you're done mutilating him even more!"

"Don't worry, we will!" The author shouted and she starting dragging the body away.

I put an arm around Ichigo and said, "C'mon, lets go to a fancy restaurant and blow our money!"

"Sounds like fun!" Ichigo said, and we left the room.

* * *

Attacker this time: Tokyo Mew Girl 

Ok, this wasn't really as random or as violent as I wanted it to be but whatever. I hope you liked it.

Next chapter - Zakuro


	4. Zakuro

Notes: This chapter... is so odd O.o I came up with it because of my friend's obsession with Naruto ((sweatdrop)). Ph34r t3h ninjaness. Oh, and also ph34r t3h banana phone o.O ((twitch))

Disclaimer: I do not own anything ninja related, or banana phone... or pink catgirls :D

**

* * *

****CHAPTER 4 - ZAKURO**

That guy staring at me is really bothering me. The one with dyed red hair. He's been staring ever since I sat down. I just wanted some coffee. I usually don't get this mad when a guy stares, but this guy is just weird. He put about 17 packets of sugar into his coffee, dumped salt into it, and then flooded it with milk and something that looked like alcohol that he took out of his pocket. After that, he complained loudly to no one in particular about how the coffee here sucks.

The guy glanced toward the door. He looked at his watch. He stared at me some more. I got really fed up. I stood up and marched over to the guy's table and shouted, "WOULD YOU QUIT STARING AT ME YOU STUPID FREAK! I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR COFFEE AND _DIE_!"

The guy flinched but then recovered. He smiled and said, "How about we go outside then?"

I raised and eyebrow. "Fine then. I can kill you myself."

The guy responded by saying, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Then he coughed and said, "Yea... let's go."

We walked to the door, then the guy ran ahead outside. I opened the door and gasped. Outside were about one hundred ninjas. They all glared at me. I glared right back.

"Zakuro Fujiwara," one of the ninjas, the leader, judging by his outfit, said. "We've recently found out that you're a model turned superhero animal girl. Tell us who gave you these powers and who your sidekick may be and we'll leave you alone... well, for about a week at least."

"What!" I cried, "Like I would really just _tell _you about the others!"

"Then we have no choice but to FIGHT!" the leader shouted. The ninjas all charged at me with their ninja-y weapons.

I leapt up into the air and the ninjas all collided. The leader screamed, "GET HER! GET HER!" and the guy with red hair watched from the sideline, sporting a cheerleading outfit and pom-poms. I shook my head in disgust.

After floating around in the air in slow motion for a few minutes, I finally landed and started beating up the ninjas nearest to me. I kicked, punched, strangled, and kung fu hustled them. They didn't give up though. They tried stabbing me with pointy ninja stars and one of them even attempted to put my eye out with his headband.

About 67 of them were out cold before the leader started to worry. He yelled, "Ninjas! Get into Super Ninja Formationness!"

The ninjas got into some weird formation, which consisted of these guys doing slow motion flips and spins and making ridiculous poses while lining up. They finally got into their stupid formation and they all shouted, "SUPER HAPPY NINJA FLIGHT BEAM THINGY ISH GO!" and suddenly there were doubles of all of them. Then they ran at me with amazing speed.

I held up my arms to try to block their attack but they were too strong. They all made it past my pathetic defense and started kicking and punching me like there was no tomorrow. Strangely enough, I wasn't getting knocked out. I got angry and decided to hold my breath until I passed out.

– – –

I woke up in what I assumed was the ninja hideout. There were ninjas walking around carrying boxes marked "Weapons" and reports titled "Cheesy and Completely Pointless Battle Cries." One of the ninjas was saying, "Hey, that weird superhero girl was kinda weak, wasn't she?" I twitched and tried to attack the loser but I found I was tied up. I wonder why I didn't notice that before? ((ponders))

Finally, the leader came in and saw that I was awake. A short ninja was walking behind him, carrying a radio. The leader said, "Ah, you're awake. Good. Now, if you tell me about the source of your powers and whoever else is in on this, I won't have to torture you." Chibi ninja (cute nickname, ne?) held up the radio menacingly.

"What, are you gonna make me listen to country music? Yodeling?" I asked.

"No..." the leader said, grinning. "So, you gonna tell me all you know?"

"NEVER!" I shouted melodramatically.

The leader put on earmuffs he just suddenly had. Chibi ninja did too. The other ninja's saw this and they ran from the room. The leader nodded to Chibi ninja, and he pressed a button on the radio. The music went as thus:

"_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone..._"

I gasped. "No... not this... it took me weeks to get it out of the head the first time I heard it!"

"._.. I've got this feeling, so appealing..._"

"NO! MAKE IT STOP!" I screamed. The leader laughed at me.

"_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone. Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone..._"

I twitched spastically and tried to untie myself. Anything to get away from the Banana Phone. The leader still laughed. Chibi ninja laughed, too.

"._..beats the rest! Cellular, modular, interactivodular..._"

"Please shut it off!" I yelled. "I'll do anything!"

"I can't hear you." The leader said, pointing to his earmuffs.

"_...Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping ponana phone! Its no baloney, It ain't a phony! My cellular, bananular phone!_"

I tugged as hard as I could and my bindings snapped. I grabbed the radio and threw it into the wall. Then I stomped all over it. The leader looked a bit horrified. He removed his earmuffs and said, "You freak! I had you tied in my Unsnapable Ninja Knot!"

"Well fuck you!" I said, giving the remains of the radio another good stomp.

Then, to my surprise, the leader started _crying_. It was my turn to be a bit horrified. I just kinda stood there, listening to the leader sobbing about how someone broke his knot. What a baby. But then, another surprise! Red haired dude ran in, said to the leader, "You're under arrest!" and he handcuffed him. My train of thought: ...?

Red hair went over to me and said, "I am Mr. Yuki Baka, a detective! I heard that these ninja's were planning to kidnap you so I joined them undercover."

"...Eh?" I said.

Yuki patted me on the shoulder and said, "That's a good girl. Now you go on home and stuff. I'll take care of it from here."

So then I just went home and attempted to drown myself in the bathtub. God, I hate Mondays.

* * *

Um... sorry for the long update. I've been playing Halo 2 and Pokemon Ruby ((sweatdrop)) 

Next Chapter- Pudding


	5. Pudding

Notes: WHOA, I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING THIS! YOU'RE ALL PROBABLY PASSING OUT FROM SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT, AREN'T YOU? I'm so sorry I haven't updated this. I had other fanfics to update and school to suffer through and all sorts of other things to worry about.

Disclaimer: I own Tokyo Mew Mew and all it's characters :D -sees lawyers- Oh, fine! I don't own any aspect of TMM. Jeez. -rolls eyes-

**

* * *

****Chapter 5 – Pudding**

"Welcome to the Café! WANT SOME COFFEE?" I shouted at a group of girls.

"Pudding, they're leaving," Ichigo said. The girls hurried out the door.

"Oh. Whatever," I said. I got up on my unicycle and started riding around on it.

"Pudding, quit fooling around! You need to be a hard worker like me!" Mint said. She was sitting at one of the tables, drinking tea.

"MINT, GET UP RIGHT NOW!" Ichigo shouted at Mint.

"After my tea."

"OK, THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOING DOWN YOU PIDGEON!"

Ichigo tackled Mint and they started fighting. I watched with interest. I had a feeling Ichigo would be the winner, but Mint was putting up a pretty good fight. But then the fight was ruined when Masaya ran into the café and hugged Ichigo.

Suddenly, a large group of girls ran inside, stabbed Masaya repeatedly with sporks, and dragged his body away. Then Kish appeared and said, "Ichigo, let's go watch Masaya's execution!" He grabbed Ichigo's hand and they both disappeared.

Ryou, who was standing nearby, said after a few minutes. "Um... the café's now closed. Bye."

There was a stampede of girls running out of the café.

"And you girls can go home too." Ryou said to me and the other Mews.

We all went outside and discussed what we would do for the rest of the day.

"I'm gonna try to make friends with people," Lettuce said.

"I'm gonna model," Zakuro said.

"I'm gonna stalk Zakuro," Mint said.

"I'm gonna wander around aimlessly," I said.

We all split up. I decided to walk down a dark, desolate alley. Cause I'm that smart. Typically though, I was being followed. I could feel it. Then suddenly... SOMEONE POPPED OUT FROM BEHIND A RANDOM GARABE CAN! And that someone was... Tart.

"PUDDINGINEEDCANDYRIGHTNOWSOBADLYI'MTWITCHINGFROMCANDYWITHDRAWAL!" Tart screamed at me.

I pulled a candy drop from my pocket. "You want this?"

"YESYESYESYESYES!"

"Well, you have to take me on a date first:D" I said.

Tart stared at me for a moment, then he shrieked, "FINEOKI'LLDOANYTHINGFORMORECANDYLET'SGONOW!"

Tart grabbed me by the hand and dragged me to a really fancy restaurant. I was about to tell him we needed money and I was broke at the moment but he pulled about a bajillion yen out of his pockets.

"I'LLGIVEYOUALLTHISMONEYIFYOUHURRYUPWITHTHEFOODKTHXBAI." He said to a waitress. The waitress seated us immediately. We got the best table in the whole restaurant.

The waitress asked us, "What would you like to order?"

"FOOD." Tart said.

"What kind of food sir?"

"THEKINDTHAT'SEDIBLEOFCOURSE."

"Maybe we'll just get chicken or something," I suggested.

"CHICKEN'SFINEMAKEITFRIED." Tart said.

"Alright, I'll have it here as fast as possible so you can pay me, kay?" The waitress said.

She came back five minuets later with two buckets of chicken from KFC, Kyoto Fried Chicken. She placed them in front of us and said, "Fresh from some other girl's lunch break, uh, I mean, the oven!"

Tart devoured the whole bucket of chicken in one huge gulp. I decided to take my time. Tart however, didn't feel like waiting so he let me have one piece of chicken and he ate the rest of mine. Then he called the waitress over, stuffed all the money into her outstretched arms, and dragged me outside. "CANDYNOW?" He asked.

I gave him the candy drop. He stuffed it in his mouth and swallowed it.

"Thanks Pudding. Now I'm gonna plot the destruction of the Mew Mews. Bye!" Tart said. He then teleported away.

I felt sad for a moment, but I knew he'd be back. I actually gave him a cough drop.

* * *

I'm sorry that was so short and boring. But hey, an update's and update, yea?

I think the next character shall be... Lettuce. I'm sorry in advance if I don't update for another 5 months.


End file.
